Running To Stand Still

January 3rd, 2006

It wasn’t much of a morning for running, but there I was, sprinting through Central Park in the freezing rain.

The cold wind cut straight through my clothes. The freezing rain shot like pin pricks through my skin. It was somehow requisite. Somehow refreshing. A wake up call. After all, today was my first day back to The MTV in nearly two weeks. Guy’s gotta be on the ball.

Fact is, I’m still feeling pretty fatigued. I definately enjoyed my time off. Truth be told, I did a whole lot of nothing. Yeah, I’ve got the novel up to thirty-one pages. And I travelled just a little bit. But in general, I slept and watched television. It wasn’t the most ambitious ten days of my life.

Still, I was hoping to feel a little bit more, I dunno, in my skin by now. And maybe I do. But in general, I’m still tired, and unfocussed, and, well, fatigued.

So I was splashing past Bathesda (I know, I know), thinking to myself, ‘So how are you going to make this year different?’

I’m going to be still.

I’m not sure how that goal’s going to manifest itself. I’m not sure what it’s going tolook like. I just know I have to do it.

I have to cry without weeping, talk without speaking, scream without raising my voice. I have to know what I’m running for.

So here we go…